Violence Against Women is a 'National Emergency' Due to Subtle Acts of Control and Disrespect, Not Just Extreme Acts

by Isabelle Mabey

Violence against women, spanning all ages, is often rooted in societal norms that begin in childhood. From a young age, girls are conditioned to accept harmful behaviours as normal, while boys learn that cruelty towards girls is acceptable and carries little consequence. 

This early desensitisation to aggression can evolve into more severe forms of harassment and violence as they grow older, coming in varying extremes and spanning everything from coercion to catcalling to sexual abuse. 

Simultaneously, young boys are taught to suppress emotions, fostering loneliness and creating a gateway to radical ideologies that perpetuate misogyny. 

Online communities further entrench these views, dehumanising women and reinforcing toxic behaviours. All the while the rise of public shaming, particularly through social media and viral street interviews, amplifies this degradation, turning women's experiences and vulnerabilities into spectacles for ridicule. 

In a world where even powerful figures publicly demean women without consequence, the normalisation of this violence continues to be a widespread issue.

Girls are exposed to violence from the beginning, conditioned to accept and normalise unfair and

cruel treatment at the hands of the boys around them. 

We are taught that if he’s mean to you, it most likely means that he likes you and that it’s not a big deal, despite the impact it may have on the girls experiencing the behaviour first hand. 

We are shown that porn is easily accessible and degradation toward women is normal or even desirable, reinforcing stereotypes about self worth and relationship roles.

This normalisation teaches young boys that aggression is fine and deserves no punishment. 

It teaches young boys to have a lack of empathy to the girls around them, making it easier to continue this treatment later in life. 

It teaches young boys that control is a part of intimacy, perpetuating cycles of exploitation.

These lessons manifest themselves, growing until girls feelings are ridiculed, being called overly sensitive for reacting to their mistreatment. 

A classic example of this is street harassment. When boys are taught that calling a girl names and teasing her is fine as a child, even something to proud of, calling women names and teasing them in the street doesn’t seem problematic. It is what they have grown up doing, after all. 

Yet, what is a woman when she argues against this? Sensitive, unable to take a compliment, ungrateful, and “probably ugly anyway.”

And now, unsurprisingly, violence against women has been deemed a “national emergency” by the National Police Chiefs’ Council. 

Looking to the startling case of 15 year old Elianne Andam, the gravity of the dismissal of young boys actions becomes relevant. 

In Croydon, on a Wednesday morning in 2023, Andam was stabbed by a 17 year old boy on her way to school.

In 2024, after the news reported the murder of 33 year old Ugandan Olympian Rebecca Cheptegei, who was set on fire by her ex partner Dickson Ndiema, the death of Miss Switzerland finalist Kristina Joksimovic was then reported less than 2 weeks after. She was murdered and dismembered at the hands of her 41-year-old husband, identified in the media only as "Thomas.”

The close proximity of both Cheptegei and

Joksimovic’s death sheds a light on the reality of the sheer amount of violence women have to

endure. 

These reports also coincided with the groundbreaking court case of Gisèle Pelicot, who waived her anonymity to seek justice. 

Pelicot’s husband, Dominique, was caught filming under women’s skirts in 2020. While detained, police searched his devices to find thousands of videos of his wife. He had repeatedly drugged her to sleep in order to allow men to rape her over a 10 year time period. This year, Dominique Pelicot has been on trial alongside 50 other men for their abuse against Gisèle Pelicot. 

The consistency of these horrific crimes has become so normal that it no longer feels shocking that women are dying. 

Yet, the ridicule and belittling of women for being ‘overly’ emotional is a double edged sword. It’s a full cycle that women pay for. 

Women are criticised, casting onto men a traditional viewpoint that having feelings is not manly and to keep it inside otherwise be painted with the same shameful brush as women, this then furthers their aggression, and thus the repetition. 

Young boys bottling up their emotions need an outlet, it becomes lonely and isolating. This isolation can lead them to seek likeminded people, also looking for that same outlet.

This is where the radical ideologies of multiple different online communities become a threat. Young boys desperate to connect become susceptible to the online manosphere. These communities infiltrate and offer sanctuary and ‘friends’ to those who may not have found them in the offline world. 

These ‘friends’ often come in the form of Incels, who treat women as subhuman shallow ‘foids’ (literally derived from either female + humanoid or female + android). They preach that women deserve to be raped and killed for the small crime of not being sexually attracted to the very men who want to harm them. 

Other ‘friends’ are found and made by bonding over videos from pick up artists who preach to pursue women like it’s a sport, refusing to take no for an answer. 

When you are vulnerable, these radical views don’t seem to be so radical anymore. When you are surrounded by large groups of men who are unashamedly opinionated and confident in those opinions, it no longer feels radical to align yourself with them, it feels normal.

Shaming women is a taught practice, whether that be for their interests, for the way the look, for

having a sex life, for not having a sex life. Shame is a feeling that women are all too familiar with.

In the modern world of social media, a new way of shaming women has been introduced in the form of street interviews. Men take to the street with their phone cameras and mini microphones, asking women, “What’s your bodycount?” or “What do you rate yourself out of 10?” just so that viewers can take to the comments and rip the questioned women to shreds, disagreeing with her rating of herself, deciding that she’s slept with too many people or that she’s lying. 

These hosts create spectacles of their guests as if they are no longer a human with feelings, but instead a joke for people to laugh and point at. 

Women are so casually and openly degraded

in society for anyone to see, it is considered innocent to laugh at their expense.

When people are seen and treated as an object, it is far more easier to treat them badly. 

It is also easier when you have men who are on pedestals of power, providing role models for young men everywhere while treating women horrendously. 

“Just pat her on the bottom and send her on her way.”

“Grab ‘em by the pussy.”

These are statements from the 2022 UK Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, and both the 2016 American president and current elect, Donald Trump.

It is not just the deep corners of the internet, it’s our government, our YouTubers, our music, our TV, our dads. 

Even the Boots Christmas ad has demonstrated this. Grown men are angry and aggressive as a result of them making a lighthearted joke around women being expected to do the work they take credit for. This festive period, I know at least one man in your life will brag about not knowing what presents they’ve bought, never mind wrapped, or sits falling asleep while women clear the table. 

Murder and rape may seem like extreme anomalies, but everyday forms of violence against women are commonplace. Making your girlfriend feel obliged to sleep with you, commenting on how your sister looks, belittling your mother for spending her money on clothes or getting her nails done (while you spend twice that on video games and sports season tickets), aren’t ‘normal’ behaviours. You just think they are because you see them every day. 

The normalisation of distain for women, rooted in early conditioning and perpetuated by societal structures, creates a vicious cycle. 

Breaking this cycle requires a collective effort to challenge stereotypes, hold those in power accountable, foster empathy from a young age, and have those uncomfortable conversations with those around you. 

Only by addressing these systemic issues can we even hope to create a society where violence and degradation of women are no longer tolerated or trivialised, and where all individuals are treated with dignity and respect.

Edited by Emily Duff