by Chelsea Pujols
Pink outfits and pigtails adorned with a bow marked a return to girlhood. Exchanging friendship bracelets, listening to our favourite pop princesses, and purchasing soft toys have not only become intergenerational and trendy but are a way for women in their twenties to heal; a cute bandaid could cure almost everything.
Like many girls, an oral history of childhood without the name “One Direction” mentioned is out of the question. Falling in love with five boys on the TV screen was a mandatory experience to transition from child to teenager with positive, self-love anthems like Little Things and Diana guiding the way.
Lyrics echoed through our heads, saying “If I let you know I’m here, for you/then maybe you’ll love yourself, like I love you.” They stood out in a time where body image issues ran rampant and beauty standards grew more and more impossible with the rapid emergence of social media. Now hailed as the first boyband of the internet, One Direction certainly had a sensitivity to the audiences they sang to.
With One Direction reaching the charts once again and One Direction: This is Us back on cinema screens, the love, nostalgia, and girlhood has returned. Except there’s a difference: “the boys” are no longer boys, and I am no longer a girl.
Looking through childhood photos after receiving the tragic news of Liam Payne’s passing, I pictured the poster of him floppy haired and cheekily smiling that was plastered on my bedroom walls while scrolling past photo after photo posted in black and white.
Memories of who he was flashed though my mind having dedicated hours of my life to One Direction video diaries before “binge watching” was even a term and staying up past my bedtime anticipating the release of a new song - all featuring “Big Payno” or “Daddy Direction.”
Though sounding like childish nicknames, they served as a testament to Payne’s character as the strong, level-headed, and determined leader of the band.
Seeing his face throughout the last few days, moments of who I used to be peaked through my reflection in the mirror. In my eyes, there were the gleams of a girl on her eleventh birthday, standing tall in her hot pink dress with silver sparkles, awaiting her guests arrival. The
bright balloons in vibrant colours with the singers’ faces outlined on them coloured white walls with excitement. A pink frosted cake was placed on the table, with a multicoloured 1D logo right in the center where it belonged.
I heard her giggles and squeals of excitement, twirling the hair that Mami so carefully and meticulously straightened despite the natural curl pattern fighting back.
I am not a girl, and Liam was not a boy anymore; straying so far from the people we once were.
“I heart 1D” read a homemade sign made as a decoration for the festivities. I smiled proudly underneath it with an awkwardness only a growing girl could have, because 1D also “hearted” me.
Rest in peace, Liam Payne.