by Ana Badea
Society has a way of simplifying things: whether it is to label strangers or make assumptions about them, it all comes down to the comfort of stereotyping.
It’s just the human brain’s ‘shortcut’ for things that are too complex to understand immediately.
For years, society has associated not conforming to heteronormative gender stereotypes as a clear
indication of a person not being heterosexual (because women who like men need to be feminine in their appearance and men who like women need to be masculine in their appearance, right?).
Instead, consider the concept of Revolianism. It argues why we should deconstruct the mental associations between self expression and sexual orientation.
The way that somebody presents themselves on the outside is most likely the way they feel the most comfortable - but what about the cases where people present themselves a certain way not because they feel comfortable doing that, but because they feel like they need to in order to ‘signal’ their sexual orientation to the people they want to attract?
There are straight women who want to be masculine presenting; there are lesbian women who want to be feminine presenting; there are straight men who want to be feminine presenting and there are gay men who want to be masculine presenting.
Yet why does society label gender stereotype conformity as ‘inherently straight’ and gender
stereotype non-conformity as ‘inherently gay’?
This is also true for media representation: every time heterosexual women are depicted on screen, they always fit into the male fantasy and gaze in one way or another.
The only time a woman is truly free from the performance of femininity and whether or not she is attractive to men is if she is represented as being gay, a nun or perhaps, or somebody’s grandma!
A patriarchal society benefits by using women’s sexuality against them by demanding a performance of femininity in exchange for an understanding that you are attracted to men. Add being attracted to men who are more comfortable in their femininity, and that type of heterosexual relationship is never depicted, as it’s still deemed ‘too weird’ or ‘too unlikely.’
The very notion that a woman with a more masculine style cannot be attracted to men or that a man with a more feminine style cannot be attracted to women is a very heteronormative belief in itself: that heterosexuality can only happen when feminine women date masculine men and in no other way.
Revolianism is the very concept according to which people who identify as straight and cisgender should not feel pressured to conform to heteronormative gender stereotypes just to ‘successfully’ signal their sexual orientation. It is this very pressure that keeps us from achieving true liberation from patriarchal gender stereotypes.
Similarly, the idea that women who like women are always masculine or men who like men are always feminine is an incorrect stereotype, also based on heteronormative beliefs.
If we are to progress in our mission to equality between the sexes, we need to normalise non-conformity to gender stereotypes for people of any sexual orientation, without this being used to question their identity or what they are attracted to.
Edited by Emily Duff